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Post by Erika Delicia Danielles on Sept 6, 2013 22:13:35 GMT -6
She felt guilty; but, she could really use the help. "Um...Well...Maybe just a loan. I promise to pay it back! You can trust me. I will pay it back!" she said firmly.
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Post by Noa Clarke/Sierra Forrester on Sept 7, 2013 10:16:42 GMT -6
She didn't need it repaid, but didn't say that. She just nodded, "I'll give you whatever you need," she said.
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Post by Erika Delicia Danielles on Sept 7, 2013 15:24:54 GMT -6
She hesitantly extracted a copy of Kaplan's bill and showed it to Sierra-chan. She sighed. "I'm sorry! I really sorry! I saved up so that Jun-kun wouldn't need to worry about it but I...I was really stupid! I should have known Dad would squander it! But he was doing better and he begged me to trust him and I...I was an idiot!" she said, ashamed. Kaplan's courses weren't cheap.
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Post by Noa Clarke/Sierra Forrester on Sept 7, 2013 15:51:57 GMT -6
"I can take care of it," she said after taking a look at the bill. She looked up at the girl, "Trust me, I can take care of this bill for you in no time."
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Post by Erika Delicia Danielles on Sept 7, 2013 16:03:28 GMT -6
Erika shifted uncomfortably. "I'm really sorry!" she repeated desperately. "I promise to make it up to you!" She wasn't sure how she'd manage that; but, she'd find a way.
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Post by Noa Clarke/Sierra Forrester on Sept 7, 2013 16:08:38 GMT -6
She nodded, "If you really want to..."
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Post by Erika Delicia Danielles on Sept 7, 2013 16:15:55 GMT -6
Erika looked to her hopefully. "What?! Is there something you want or need? Something you'd like to do?" She'd offer to look into her future; but, Sierra-chan probably didn't want that. Erika only saw dark and depressing images.
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Post by Noa Clarke/Sierra Forrester on Sept 7, 2013 16:23:22 GMT -6
"Not now there's not," she said, "Sometime something might come up, in which case I'll call you."
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Post by Erika Delicia Danielles on Sept 7, 2013 16:27:49 GMT -6
"And I'm still going to take you the aquarium!" she insisted brightly. "Everyone needs to visit the aquarium at least once!" she asserted.
She fiddled with her backpack nervously. Sierra-chan was another super hero. She really wanted to ask her; but, at the same time she didn't want to make her feel bad one way or the other. But she had to know!
She leaned closer to Sierra-chan so she could whisper. "Sierra-chan, do you...do you feel guilty when you kill sentient creatures? Or um...maybe you never had to." Maybe Sierra-chan was better than her. Maybe she could simply convince them to stop through sheer intimidation or force of will.
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Post by Noa Clarke/Sierra Forrester on Sept 7, 2013 16:32:24 GMT -6
"I don't," she said simply, quietly, "They've made their choice to be an enemy of humanity. If we stop them, they'll just come back again. I don't want to be responsible for people losing their lives, so I...so I have no problem taking their lives, whatever their lives are worth," she whispered.
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Post by Erika Delicia Danielles on Sept 7, 2013 16:40:44 GMT -6
Erika wasn't sure if that made her feel better or worse. Sierra-chan killed them too. It was necessary. They both knew that. So why couldn't Erika ever shake off her guilt? But did she really want to lose the guilt? She wasn't a killer. Wasn't her regret proof of that? No, she was a killer, wasn't she? Even if they were mostly monsters they were still sentient; and, she ended their lives. Not feeling grief for that state of affairs...It was hard to imagine.
"Of course you're right," Erika said uncertainly. It was better if you didn't feel guilt, easier. Guilt made you hesitate and hesitation could have dire repercussions. Still...It seemed cold and wrong not to experience some sorrow when life was callously wasted. Could they help being the way they were? If she was raised in Hades or raised the way they were would she have been cruel and malicious too? Did they really have a choice?
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Post by Noa Clarke/Sierra Forrester on Sept 7, 2013 16:50:00 GMT -6
"I mean, I imagine others feel differently, but I'm doing what's best for everyone, not just me," she said.
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Post by Erika Delicia Danielles on Sept 7, 2013 16:56:51 GMT -6
"It's not like you're wrong," she agreed. "And we are doing what's best for most people." Still...It bothered her. A lot. She had nightmares about it, drowning in their oddly colored blood or at times human blood.
"I just..I wish I could convince them to make different choices." But she didn't have that power of personality or persuasion. She didn't know if anyone on the planet did. Some sentient creatures were just hell bent on destruction. It would be foolish to leave them alone. So many others would die.
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Post by Noa Clarke/Sierra Forrester on Sept 7, 2013 17:22:52 GMT -6
Sierra nodded, "I'm sure some might be fighting against their will, but it's not our job to find them. It's our job to shield humanity, and that's what I do, at least."
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Post by Erika Delicia Danielles on Sept 7, 2013 17:58:21 GMT -6
Erika squeezed her eyes shut, worrying that her next words would come off sounding incredibly arrogant. "I just want to protect as many people as possible," she whispered. She hated the consequences but that was the goal. And as tough as being a Sentai was, she wouldn't give it up for anything. She had been a blue mage before she even knew what that meant. She had the ability to protect people, to look after others, to do some real good. Sleepless nights and guilt were just part of the package.
She didn't like the dark nature of her visions. She loathed the killing. But it was all necessary; and, she wouldn't push that responsibility off on anyone else. This was her job.
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