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Post by Charlotte Carlisle on Oct 3, 2013 15:52:46 GMT -6
"I think those are great reasons." She gestured around the room. "To you this is a home. You have a reason to come back here besides eating and sleeping. You'd probably actually be sad if you moved. I don't have a home. I guess I never did."
She never got sentimental or sad when it was time to leave her place. She just packed up her stuff and never looked back. In the end, to her, she had buildings not homes.
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Post by Jack Drake on Oct 3, 2013 15:55:25 GMT -6
"It must be rather lonely," he said.
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Post by Charlotte Carlisle on Oct 3, 2013 15:58:13 GMT -6
"That's what people keep telling me. But you don't notice it after a while."
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Post by Jack Drake on Oct 3, 2013 15:58:55 GMT -6
"For some reason I don't believe that," he told her.
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Post by Charlotte Carlisle on Oct 3, 2013 16:08:03 GMT -6
"It was really hard on me when I first realized I didn't have home when I was eight." A tough time was an understatement. First their was an overwhelming sense of grief eventually followed by a lot of bitterness and resentment. The second stage lasted much longer.
She shrugged. "But I got over it."
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Post by Jack Drake on Oct 3, 2013 16:15:16 GMT -6
"So, how is life without an actual home, then?" he asked.
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Post by Charlotte Carlisle on Oct 3, 2013 16:20:56 GMT -6
"That's probably a tough question for someone who never had a home to answer." She shrugged. "Honestly, I don't get how everyone can place this great sense of attachment on a building. It's a thing. It doesn't care about you. Any memories you make there would just be in your head. It's not like the building could remember."
People often told her she had this sense of creepy detachment or something when it came to anything outside her work.
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Post by Jack Drake on Oct 3, 2013 16:27:10 GMT -6
He shrugged, "You do raise good points..."
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Post by Charlotte Carlisle on Oct 3, 2013 16:34:12 GMT -6
"I don't expect you to agree. Actually...I don't think I've ever found anyone who hasn't found my 'lack of attachment' really disturbing. I just don't get it." At some level she wanted to but it was probably too late for her to understand it.
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Post by Jack Drake on Oct 3, 2013 17:07:03 GMT -6
"I can believe that," he told her, "It probably seems odd to most people."
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Post by Charlotte Carlisle on Oct 3, 2013 17:09:37 GMT -6
"Yeah, everyone treats me like this really weird dysfunctional person or something. But is it really wrong not to be so emotionally invested in a building?"
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Post by Jack Drake on Oct 3, 2013 17:12:58 GMT -6
"It's the notion of having someplace to go back to," he said.
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Post by Charlotte Carlisle on Oct 3, 2013 17:18:43 GMT -6
"But there is no place I care about going back to. It's just a matter of convenience. I need a place to research, sleep, and eat. I picked a decent enough and cheap enough location but it didn't have to be that place. It could have been any place. It's just a building. I feel like people put almost a sacred kind of purpose to their 'home'. But it's a thing you fill up with more things. This idea of a home is really confusing to me."
It wasn't just confusing. On some level it made her feel resentful.
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Post by Jack Drake on Oct 3, 2013 17:25:15 GMT -6
"I think it also has to do with family, and loved ones," he told her, "But I do see where you're coming from. You really do need others to help make a home worthwhile."
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Post by Charlotte Carlisle on Oct 3, 2013 17:30:29 GMT -6
"But you live by yourself and yet this is a home to you. So what's the difference?" It also frustrated her that people assumed you needed a family or some sort of relationship to be happy. Why couldn't people accept that you could make yourself happy without someone else's help?
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