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Post by Erika Delicia Danielles on Sept 8, 2013 14:32:32 GMT -6
"Do your parents love you?" she asked softly. Maybe they were trying to mold her because they thought that was best but maybe they simply didn't care. As depressed and messed up as her father was, he still loved her. Sometimes he'd just look at her and she'd know. He couldn't help being the way he was; but, he still cared about her.
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Post by Noa Clarke/Sierra Forrester on Sept 8, 2013 14:36:41 GMT -6
"Of course," she said, but figured there had to be something deeper to this. She didn't ask, though. She didn't want to pry.
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Post by Erika Delicia Danielles on Sept 8, 2013 14:41:25 GMT -6
"Sometimes I think it's harder when they love you," she admitted. She felt so guilty not being about to help her dad. It would be easier to be angry with him, to write him off as an irresponsible parent. But she couldn't. He didn't hate his children. He loved them. And when he was sober enough he hated what he was doing.
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Post by Noa Clarke/Sierra Forrester on Sept 8, 2013 14:43:07 GMT -6
"What do you mean?" she asked.
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Post by Erika Delicia Danielles on Sept 8, 2013 14:51:33 GMT -6
Why not go for it? This wasn't Jun-kun. She didn't have to worry about breaking through his illusion. Sierra-chan seemed to have family trouble too, and frankly Erika hadn't complained about her father in...Actually she wasn't sure if she'd actually complained about him to anyone.
"My dad lost it after mom was murdered. He just couldn't cope. He quit his job and started drinking. I had to basically become parent and take over everything. But I was 13. Too young to work. I had to get him up in the morning and get him together enough to do some basic part time work. He refused to go back to being a surgeon. And it was just...Well it was really awful.
And it wasn't just me. He couldn't help Jun-kun. I had to cook and clean and balance the bills and take care of well...like everything. But...It was sort of...impossible to be angry with Dad. I mean...He loved us. He didn't mean to be so destructive. He was just really depressed. And some times I'd see flashes of the man he used to be and...Sometimes I think it would be easier to deal if he didn't love us. I could be angry and frustrated and not feel so sad and guilty for the man."
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Post by Noa Clarke/Sierra Forrester on Sept 8, 2013 14:56:09 GMT -6
She didn't know what she could do or say. She just nodded slowly, "I'm so sorry to hear that," she told Erika, "You shouldn't have had to go through anything like that."
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Post by Erika Delicia Danielles on Sept 8, 2013 15:02:30 GMT -6
She lazily stretched her arms. She felt better. She really did. "I should be apologizing. I'm not looking for pity or anything." She smiled brightly. "I turned out okay."
"Yeah, sorry for dumping that on you. I just figured I was overdue for a rant. Jun-kun needs me to comfort him. I can't talk to him about this."
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Post by Noa Clarke/Sierra Forrester on Sept 8, 2013 15:12:16 GMT -6
"Yeah, seems like you did. And it's ok, I'm happy to listen," she said.
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Post by Erika Delicia Danielles on Sept 8, 2013 15:19:19 GMT -6
"Thank you," Erika said pleased that Sierra-chan thought she turned out alright. She kicked a stone. "But you know...Sometimes I am angry with him! He's supposed to be the adult. He's the one who is supposed to be taking care of us. He wasn't the only one who lost Mom. But we still need to cope!"
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Post by Noa Clarke/Sierra Forrester on Sept 8, 2013 15:20:20 GMT -6
"I know," she said, "Some people are stronger than others. I don't mean to say your father is weak or anything, but...you know what I mean, I hope," she said.
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Post by Erika Delicia Danielles on Sept 8, 2013 15:24:40 GMT -6
"No, you can say it. He's weak," she said with unaccustomed bitterness. Her smile flickered back into place. "But it's okay. I'm strong enough to cover his share!"
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Post by Noa Clarke/Sierra Forrester on Sept 8, 2013 15:48:27 GMT -6
"That's a good thing," she said.
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Post by Erika Delicia Danielles on Sept 8, 2013 15:51:34 GMT -6
"Yes, well I am the older sister! Someone needed to take care of Jun-kun!" She stared at the ground. "And Dad. I don't hate him. I do love him. I wish I could help him."
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Post by Noa Clarke/Sierra Forrester on Sept 8, 2013 15:54:27 GMT -6
"Someday you will be able to," Sierra said, "I'm sure of it."
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Post by Erika Delicia Danielles on Sept 8, 2013 15:59:17 GMT -6
Erika simply smiled. "I'm not."
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